If I had many friends left they would probably a bit pissed off with my anxiety about how fat I am and how I am too fat to lead a normal life and do I look fat in this and why am I so fat and oh my God LOOK I am actually fat and if I’m not fat why am I so fat then and I am the shape of a fat person and the main thing is I really don’t like being so fat and why isn’t bariatric surgery available as a preventative measure and oh god I’m so fat please can I just be euthanized and so on
Apparently having a time limit in which to indulge this sort of obsessive thought/behaviours can be helpful but having typed all that out I don’t feel any better so am just going to Stop It and Pull Self Together which works with
all most other mental problems. I’ve added one of Debbie Madden’s nutrition sports performance meal plans to my half marathon training plan at trainingpeaks.com where there are loads of hers and others to choose from. She’s been very helpful by email so far, it looks like food I will enjoy and can prepare easily and most importantly make running a bit easier. Running has been difficult this week and it’s been the lowest mileage week for ages, I probably need to start committing a bit of carbicide more often.
Training plan called for yet another rest or XT day today but there is a law, probably, about not having two non-running days in a row so went for just about 2.5 miles today with Julia. Looking forward to 5 tomorrow, looking forward further still to the long runs being Long Runs. I miss them.